Date Night

I remember judging model Chrissy Teigen (whom I really like) in my head and maybe even out loud when I saw that she and her husband John Legend were out just two weeks after her baby was born. "How could she leave her baby so soon? Celebrities are crazy! Damn she looks good!"

I was really trying to wrap my head around it. But I didn't know what her mental state was like or why she did what she did. And after my experiences with post partum anxiety with Noelle I should have been understanding that sometimes moms just need to get away.

When I heard about the Drake concert before Lois was born, I thought to myself how much I wanted to go and how I could possibly swing it. As the time got closer and Lois was born I knew she would be just shy of 3 weeks old. I couldn't leave her that soon and give her a bottle, could I? My mom was due to come into town a day before the concert. If I was going to leave her with anyone in the world it would be my mother. 

So there I was, packing my clutch full of pumping parts. I knew that because Lo was still feeding so frequently I would need to pump while at the concert to keep from being uncomfortable. I wouldn't worry about saving it because I was already stocked full. It wouldn't be my first time pumping in a public restroom. I'd love to say that the night went off without a hitch but that wouldn't be true. Though Tj and I had such a fun night, it came with its challenges. I experienced two panic attacks. I can recall having panic attacks when I was away from Noelle as a newborn if even for an hour. I battled them with all I had and was able to pray and breath through them without freaking out and leaving the arena. 

I knew that getting away would be good for me. This time around, I will be more mindful about my mental health and be proactive about doing things that keep me a happy and healthy mama. Navigating this parent life has proven to not be so easy and though I know some moms wouldn't agree with my decision to leave my 3 week old for a rap concert with my husband, I don't regret it. We had an awesome night and we really benefitted from some time alone, with ten thousand other screaming fans!